In my continued efforts to be the worst part-time blogger ever, I’m MIA again.  I know.  It’s shocking.  I have a plethora of excuses and rationalizations, all of which I will share with you now in an effort to make sure you forgive me and visit again next week, when I’m less, you know, sucky at this whole blogging thing.

– My first ever business trip is happening this week.  Hilarious, I know.  Given the fact that I’ve already struggled somewhat with the idea that I’ll need to wear pantyhose every single day, this whole trip can only go great places.  I’d like to state, for the record, that one of the things I did not learn in college was the fact that open-toed shoes are not business appropriate.  Um, what?  Is this common knowledge and no one told me?  My peep-toed pumps are slutty? Agree to disagree, but it limited my shoe selection to an almost insurmountably small amount because I do not own close-toed black shoes.  Of course I don’t.  Because my suits are only black.  Ugh, the perils of becoming an adult.

– Boyfriend’s Brother came home from studying abroad in Africa last week, which meant that Boyfriend came home from Maryland to gawk at his brother’s astonishing amount of photos.  We’ll just say that there were lions, and cheetahs, and snakes…oh my.  Boyfriend’s Brother also brought him back a (FIFA World Cup-sponsored) bottle of what appears to be Bailey’s, but is actually derived from a naturally alcoholic fruit.  First and foremost, I’m living in the wrong part of the world, because simultaneously eating a nutrious piece of fruit while getting a buzz on is sweet. Second, apparently this fruit is a large part of an elephant’s diet, and often leads to their slight intoxication.  I’m sorry, but can you think of anything more terrifying than a drunk elephant in a country where they’re already overpopulated?  Because I can’t.

– Did I mention it was the World Cup?  Not that I appreciate soccer nearly as much as Boyfriend, but I did spend a significant portion of the weekend trying to work out exactly why everyone felt the need to continuously blow those giant-ass horns (Boyfriend included).  I’m no closer to an answer than I was at 9am on Saturday morning.  Also, Boyfriend, in his overzealous excitement, showed up to my house on Saturday afternoon wearing a red, white, and blue plaid blazer with a red bandana wrapped around his head.  I devoted a lot of time that day to assuring friends that I did not dress him.

– I’ve been to three baseball games in the last week.  That’s not a typo. In seven days, I went to three games.  Now, you’ll remember that I don’t really even enjoy baseball, so I’m not entirely sure how that happened, but, alas, it did.  And baseball games?  They are not short events.  Boyfriend and I went to a Red Sox game that lasted into the 12th-ish inning, and featured the slowest pitcher I have ever experienced.  Holy mother. I have never heard more booing from a crowd when the subject of the booing was standing entirely still.  I think I’m learning to appreciate it or something though.  I mean, I definitely hate it less…

So there you have it.  My life is a blur of work and sports and eating.  As if this is new information.  My deepest apologies, and I’ll see you next week.  Please don’t boo me.

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