12:30pm, assessing the 20-pound turkey we’re preparing to heave into the oven:


Mom: Do you think I put enough herbs in there?

Me: No idea.

Mom: But what do you think?  Should I put more seasoning in it?

Me: Who knows?  I’ve never cooked something that big.  It’s heavier than the dog.

Happy Thanksgiving! May all of your turkeys be properly seasoned.