12:30pm, assessing the 20-pound turkey we’re preparing to heave into the oven:
Mom: Do you think I put enough herbs in there?
Me: No idea.
Mom: But what do you think? Should I put more seasoning in it?
Me: Who knows? I’ve never cooked something that big. It’s heavier than the dog.
Happy Thanksgiving! May all of your turkeys be properly seasoned.