Do you want to hear something pathetic? Of course you do – everyone loves a chance to laugh at someone else’s stupidity. Or maybe that’s just me…that would be embarrassing. Anyway…
So the other night, Cousin and I went to Dave and Buster’s with some friends. Never been? It’s Chuck E. Cheese for grown-ups: arcade games, tickets, prizes, and beer. Trust me – I’m an expert at these things. I worked at Chuck E. Cheese for three years during high school. No, I’m not kidding. I did the birthday dance every two hours from noon till 8PM twice a week. Go ahead. I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing.
Alright, now that we’ve collected ourselves, allow me to continue. I spent a lot of time there as a teenager, mostly fending off sticky-fingered children on a sugar high and handing out slices of mediocre pizza. Oh, and dressing up as the mouse once. Once! Do we need to take another giggling break?
I didn’t have a whole lot to do with any of the arcade games, since I didn’t wear a referee shirt or carry the keys to open any of the machines. But good lord did those machines cause some drama – and not just with the children. My favorite day of work at The Cheese (And by favorite, I mean that the best stories came out of it. It was certainly the worst day I ever spent there) involved two women literally knocking every arcade game around them to the floor. They wound up wrestling on the ground, pulling one another’s hair, in a flurry of wires and overturned video game machines. When the dust cleared and the games were righted, the cause of the argument came out: one had called the other’s baby ugly. Heavens. Now, I haven’t popped a kid out yet (Phew. Thank god I have a few more years on that front), but I really don’t think my response would be to start throwing ‘bows. And I have a temper.
Needless to say, I can only imagine what it’s like to work at D&B, where they not only serve (expensive!) beer, but also shots. I mean really? Can you think of a worse combination? The poor waitresses. I feel for them, I really do. I especially felt for the one who, at 2AM on Saturday night in Philly, was breaking up a booze-and-video-game-induced brawl between two men in the entryway.
But none of that is the funny part (Shocking, right?). The funny part is that Cousin and Cousin’s Boyfriend had a little basketball competition going on. Just to set the scene a little here, Cousin’s Boyfriend is tall. Significantly taller than me, Cousin, and Boyfriend. And Cousin played basketball for years. Yours truly, on the other hand, did not. I can barely get passed the “H” in HORSE in a pick-up driveway game. It’s sad. So naturally the inevitable suggestion came out of Cousin’s Boyfriend’s mouth two hours into the night. “Why don’t you and Katie do a round?” he asked Cousin.
UGH. Whatever, they were properly warned. In the entire minute the game allows you to shoot free throws – without a moving backboard- I made approximately 8 shots. Just for reference, others made upwards of 40 and 50. But here’s the worst part of the whole pathetic adventure: my arms are sore. Seriously. I took my sweater off after work and it was effort to lift my arms that far. And that, my friends, is why I need to spend more time in the weight room. Or any part of the gym. Even the parking lot of the gym would be a step in the right direction.
Instead, I made a cocktail. I’m nothing if not consistent.
Makes one cocktail
1 shot Pomegranate Schnapps
1 shot vodka
Splash of lime juice
Pomegranate seeds (What? You aren’t earnest enough to get them out of their stupid, obnoxious shell? Fine – it’ll taste the same, it just won’t look as cool. And, also, I’ll judge you. Me and my gimpy arms.)
In a cocktail shaker, combine vodka, lime juice, and schnapps with ice. Shake well, then pour into a martini glass (which I don’t have). Sprinkle in a few pomegrante seeds (they’ll sink, but they taste great by the end of your drink) and serve.
*On a side note: I am completely floored by the amount of traffic that’s come to this site as a result of WordPress.com‘s (phenomenal!) decision to put my empanadas on their homepage! Welcome, and thanks so much for all of the wonderful comments! Keep them coming everyone!